Shape Shifting To Gain Perspective
by Fattiboombah
Summary: Phion, a girl living in the Capitol, develops a severe case of a mental illness similar to bipolar disorder after witnessing the death of a close friend. The emotions between her two insane mood swings become lost. Phion discovers a side of herself she never thought she'd know. *Full summary inside.


*After Capitol girl, Phion, loses a friend; on an average day, her mind will think like this: 'I have nothing. Nothing in the world worth living for. Emotions hurt. Pain. Anger. Humiliation. Everyday is a day of suffering. The pain drips through my veins like a toxic venom injected into my reckless body. I just want to dig my nails into skin, anyone's skin. I just want to thrash around hitting everything in my path until all the energy has drained from my life. There is no way to calm down. No way to shut down my thoughts, shove the anger into the back of my mind. Try and it will come spiralling out ready to kill. I just want to kill. There is no better way to extinguish the excruciating pain.'  
Then her mind will think like this: 'Isn't the Capitol beautiful? The glistening sun in the morning, the beaming moon at night. Living here is amazing. The best feeling in the world. Filled with happiness. Joy. Fun. Laughter. Everyday is a smile to wake up to. I love dancing and singing in the streets. I love the complete engulfing feeling of being free. The world is incredible, wonderful, miraculous. Nothing can be better than this life.'  
The emotions in between these two extremities will be lost. She will become the most bloodthirsty, manic person the world has ever known. The Hunger Games will seem like a good place for her to end up. It's a shame she lives in the Capitol, otherwise she would be able to volunteer as a tribute…

**This is my first fanfic in a long time so please review I love ****constructive**** criticism.**

There is much to admire about the Capitol. The streets are dazzling and gorgeous. If you stand in the centre of the Capitol and perform a 360 degree pirouette, it almost feels like all the colours in the world are circling around you, dancing in the sky. Everything is perfect in the Capitol, from the incredibly friendly, bubbly people to the stunning food that is a series of wonderful combinations thrown together to deliver a tingling sparkle on the tongue. I've been to some of the districts before and we are so lucky compared to them – we get life so much better and easier.

When I was eleven, my mum took me for the first time out of the Capitol. We went together to District 8, the textile district. I found District 8 rather bland, with the most interesting element being the factory that made peacekeeper uniforms. We also went to District 4, the fishing district, last year when I was thirteen. The food was pretty gross, but there was something I liked about the people I met there. It seemed they were a lot happier than those in District 8 and the security was a lot looser, making it easier for Mum to get us in.

My family has an involvement in illegal travel, it's surprisingly not that difficult to leave the Capitol and get into the other districts. All you need is to have a few people associated with transportation and helicopters to be on your side. That was never difficult because my dad was a pretty popular person.

I wasn't born in the Capitol – I was born in District 1 and raised there for the first three years of my life. That meant that when my mum moved to the Capitol to marry my dad, I had already learned to speak with a different accent than the Capitol people. When people become suspicious and asked why I sounded strange when I spoke, my mum would always go on about how much I loved watching the Hunger Games and how I had picked up their accent because of my obsession with it.

I never really thought much about the Hunger Games; I mean, honestly, it does seem pretty entertaining to watch if you forget the fact that the characters are actually real living people. It doesn't really seem to be necessary to still have the Hunger Games continuing on since, after all, it's not really the people of the districts' fault anymore and the only thing the continuation of the Hunger Games is going to bring is a brutal war once the districts finally decide to stand up for their children and the children of the future and stop being so cowardly. Anyway, my opinion doesn't matter. The Hunger Games will end at some point, just not yet. Hopefully it will end after I'm already gone so I don't have to get mixed up in any sort of conflict.

"Hey. What are you doing out here?"

I turn my head to look behind me, then stupidly realise that the person who spoke is actually standing in front of me and that I had been thinking so deeply and intensely my eyes had gone dead staring at a plant vase on the left of a very fancy looking doorstep and not even noticed.

The streets are virtually deserted with the only sounds being from nature or from the nearby houses. Everybody's inside to watch the reaping which must have already begun. I'm in the middle of what would normally be a busy street, with an enormous fountain of a variety of dyed colours surrounded by cobble stones behind me.

I look at the person. It's a boy. No idea what age, probably somewhere between 15 and 18. His hair is a bright red hidden underneath a very adorable dark green beanie. The eyes he has are green too, but they're a different green, they are light towards the centre and dark towards the edge. I feel like they're piercing into me as they run up and down my body, inspecting what kind of person I am. I wonder if he had surgery to change his eye colour. He smiles, which shows these cute little dimples indented into his face. The jacket he wears is red and a little too long, over a black t-shirt and green shorts that shows perfectly shaved tanned legs. Just looking at him reminds me of Christmas and that for some reason makes me feel happy.

"Hi, I'm Phion," I extend my hand out to him.

He frowns and then reaches out and shakes my hand. We then exchange uncomfortable eye contact. I wait for him to introduce himself but he doesn't. He just smiles again.

"You're not from the Capitol, right? Your voice sounds… different."

I blush. The way he says it makes it seem a little like a compliment. But… I don't know what to think. I notice that his accent is pretty faded. His voice is a lot deeper than I would have thought and when he said the second sentence, his voice didn't rise at the end.

I shrug, "It's the fault of the Hunger Games. Can't get enough of it."

The boy laughs and slightly takes a step forward closer to me. Normally I would have stepped back a little so that I didn't feel uncomfortable with the proximity, but I kind of liked the idea of him being close to me.

"I can really tell. Since your voice seems so enthusiastic about it. I can also see how excited you are about watching the reaping since you're standing outside talking to me," he says sarcastically.

I look down at the ground. Great, now he thinks I'm a liar. For a minute I try to figure out why I care what he thinks of me. There's something about this guy that I really like.

"So where are you really from? Or your parents really from?" he asks.

I scan the area, I don't need to, but I just do out of habit. Then I step forward and lean toward the boy.

"I was born in District 1. I came here when I was three and a half."

His smile broadens, "Nice. Telling me a secret that could get you and your family in deep shit when you don't even know my name," the boy's smile now transforms into a smirk, but it's still an attractive facial expression, "So is the fact that you were born in District 1 the reason why you hate the Hunger Games so much?"

"I don't hate the Hunger Games. It's very interesting. It's just a little cruel," I try to guess what he's thinking inside his head but his facial expression doesn't change so I continue on, "And I can hardly remember District 1. I only think it's kind of cruel because last year I met people from District 4 and they were pretty nice."

He frowns a little with his eyebrows which I notice haven't been dyed red like his hair but dark brown, "Well if you don't hate it, why are you risking getting in trouble for not being inside watching the reaping?"

"The more important question is why are you?"

"I don't like the Hunger Games."

We're both silent and the smile on the boy's face has now been dropped. I look over my shoulder at the multicoloured water fountain. Looking at it is like having a rainbow swimming before my eyes. Part of me wishes that through the water I could see my reflection so that I could see exactly how I look right now.

A sudden eruption of laughter comes from inside one of the houses. I turn back to the boy, but he's not looking at me. He's looking at the toddler that's standing at the door of the house with the plant vase and fancy doorstep.

The boy reaches his left hand out to me. I look at it for a minute before realising that he wants me to touch it or hold it or something. My face reddens as I take his outstretched hand. Of course, I'm being stupid and accidentally use my left hand instead of my right. He laughs and then switches his hands so that I'm now holding his right hand. He then pulls my hand a little. I don't know what to do or say so I just smile awkwardly. The boy laughs again.

"I want you to walk with me, Phion."

I'm such an idiot, of course he wants to walk with me.

We walk hand-in-hand past dozens of mansions filled with the laughter of the Capitol people. I can only just hear the sound of clapping from the TVs indicating that some tributes have just been announced.

"Wait," I say and I stop walking and we drop hands.

He raises his eyebrows slightly, "Yeah?"

"You didn't tell me your name."

"Yeah?" he repeats.

I wonder if this is like some sort of game to him. Suddenly I start to feel stupid and decide maybe this boy isn't who I thought he was.

"No," I say for no reason at all.

I turn and run away from him feeling like the biggest idiot that ever existed. Not that that's very difficult to do anyway…

**Sorry about the lack of descriptions. Hopefully my writing skills will get better as I continue. Please review and tell me what you think **


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